I am starting to believe that in today’s high tech society we are given too many choices with just about everything we do. Time and technology are moving at such a pace, I wonder if I am the only person who is having trouble trying to keep up with all of the changes.
The other morning I walked into a well-known Bethesda coffee shop to grab a quick cup of coffee with my father-in-law. This seemed simple enough. When I asked him for his order, he responded with, “Short decaf double latte cappuccino with a twist.” To my surprise, he was not insulting my short stature in some strange language, but was actually ordering a coffee drink. Apparently there is no such thing as ordering a large black coffee these days - you must have choices.
A whole secret coffee society exists where each drink has to have at least 10 ingredients, lots of weird names, and your voice changing several octaves as you place your order. When I finally began to figure out how this worked, I stepped up to the counter and nervously placed my order. The coffee specialist seemed unimpressed, but translated and relayed it to the coffeeologist who actually prepares your concoction. I don’t remember seeing this advanced field of study offered at my college, but it must exist as there is no way to know what anyone is talking about without a deep rooted understanding of this odd language. After paying what seemed like $20 for the drink and the experience, I decided to continue on with my day and get the car washed.
These days no one actually washes your car - everything is automated to give you control and choices. As I stood at the pump reading the vast array of specials, I wondered when a car wash became so complicated. Each wash had its own fancy name, which I wasn’t sure how it related to getting my car clean. Did I want the Washingtonian, the Presidential, or the Orioles Special? The choices were endless. Wasn’t the Orioles Special on my windshield the reason why I was getting the car washed in the first place?
By the time I got through the automated system, I had to go inside and get what they call “the secret code.” This would allow me to actually enter the car wash. As I walked out the door, I wondered if I should I be looking over my shoulder to ensure that no one was attempting to steal my secret code.
The day was only half over and already I had my first happy frappe coffee drink and the O’s Special car wash. I was starting to feel like the master of new technology. I figured let’s go ahead and order the new computer I wanted. Friends said, “Why go to the computer store - that’s how things were done in the past. You call up on the phone, order it, and it gets delivered.” So when I called the master computer technician, he told me that I could design my own system. This is the new way - fast and efficient, no hassle, and choices, many choices.
After about a half hour of going through terms I had never heard of, I simply asked, “With all of the technology and choices you have, just send me a computer that I don’t have to turn off and on every time something goes wrong. You must be able to construct me one of those.” It was hard for me to believe, but apparently it still doesn’t exist.
I sat back and remembered the days not too long ago where you got a quick cup of coffee with milk and sugar and when some people got upset because the guys drying their cars left a few streaks. It wasn’t long ago either when going to buy a computer meant visiting a store, learning all there was to know, and then trying to fit it in the car to drag home.
With everything changing so fast and with all of these choices, I am just trying to take things one step at a time. Hopefully, by next week, I will be up for trying the self-serve checkout at the grocery store.
