Having used my long-term prepaid gym membership about three times in the last three years, I decided it was finally time I try something new to get back in shape.
But, what should I try?
As I scanned through endless channels on my TV in search of something interesting to watch, I came across ultimate fighting. Perhaps you’ve seen it. Two combatants (crazy men) step into a cage and test their skills against each other with the only rules being, no eye gouging or groin kicks. The winner is basically determined when one opponent “taps out” (submits) or passes out.
I walked into the Karate Zone in Germantown where I had seen they offered classes in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, which focuses on real street fighting situations and self defense. It assumes that, in a real-life situation, the fight will often end up on the ground, and so it teaches techniques for controlling the situation.
I talked with the instructor, told him I was a tennis player. He told me he also played tennis, and that tennis was actually harder on the body than Jui-Jitsu. Somehow, the thought of playing tennis against a 200-pound guy was one thing, but having him pound me into a mat was another thing altogether...
I was given the “Gi” (uniform), which consisted of some drawstring pants, a jacket and white belt to keep it all together. Worst case, I figured, if I lasted as long in Jui-Jitsu as I did at the gym, the Gi could double as a bathrobe around the house.
The good thing was, the Karate zone sits in a shopping center near my cleaners and a CVS pharmacy… logical thinking, again -- short walk to get the blood off my Gi and I could pick up my pain meds at the pharmacy when I got my arm snapped in half.
The goal I had set for myself before beginning would be that one year from this date I would walk down the mean streets of Gaithersburg, with money hanging from my pockets, just looking to get mugged so I could test out my new skills.
A few days later, it was time for the first class and I rushed into the Karate Zone a few minutes late while many of the students were already involved in warm-ups. I ran into the changing room and pulled my Gi from the bag for the first time. As I darted out to the mat, the instructor looked me over and said, “Mark, you have your pants on backwards.”
Back to the dressing room I went, wishing there was a back door to crawl out of. No such luck. While an embarrassing experience, it got me my nickname from day one -- perhaps not the one every warrior would strive for, but a nickname nonetheless: I would be known as Mark the “POB” Dragon. The POB means, Pants on Backwards.
After the first day of class, I thought back to the cliché “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it,” and realized a more apt saying would be “If it ain’t broke, let’s break it.” I learned a series of arm locks, leg locks and chokes.
Learning this new skill was humbling, yet exciting, at the same time.
How many times before a shower had I thrown a few fake punches at the mirror while thinking, “Mike Tyson has nothing on me!” In real life, when it was time to spar, it was more difficult than I thought. The dynamics that made me the pre-shower champ of my bathroom had changed dramatically when my opponent on the other end was landing punches to my head at will.
After a few weeks of classes, I really began to enjoy the training and noticed a definite difference in my physique. A few weeks ago, the instructor told me I should come to the seminar with Royce Gracie, who I learned was much like the Agassi or Tiger Woods of Jiu-Jitsu.
I was a little nervous about attending, since I still was a neophyte to the sport, but with encouragement I made the plunge. During the seminar, Royce taught us many new techniques and takedowns. A few times after getting taken to the mat, I had to make sure my kidneys and other various organs were still on the inside of my body, but I was having a great time.
Of course, at the end I was able to get a picture with the legend, which I sent to my friends saying, ‘notice the blood on Royce’s Gi, see what happens when you mess with the POB Dragon.’ Of course, in reality, Royce in his sleep could have tied my body in a pretzel and left me on the mat where I would still be now if he hadn’t decided to let me out.
The truth of the matter is, I have never had a better workout in any sport, and the techniques I’ve learned sadly do come in handy in today’s society. The people I have met at the Karate Zone have been great and patient and I am going to keep pursuing this.
It may still be a few years off, but I can only hope one day I’ll walk down the street and hear people whispering, “Hey isn’t that the POB Dragon?”
